Through His Valleys

Often times, I find myself thinking what are the small things in my life I can thank God for? It seems to always center me and remind me of the things I take for granted each day. A few months ago I kept seeing signs that read “Count your blessings,” and then I fell in love with a song titled a “Million Little Miracles.” In that season I was grateful and expressed my gratitude to God. Thinking back on the months I kept seeing those signs, I now know it was not for that season but for the season I’m in now. See, I was experiencing, what I thought of as a big blessing at that time and it was easy for me to activate my praise. My husband and I had just purchased our first home and everything was going as planned. I kept thinking why am I seeing this? Am I not truly happy? Did my praise change?

But it wasn’t until today, I noticed my mindset shifted. I hadn’t devoted as much praise in my wilderness. An unexpected change, that I considered not apart of my plans shook me. It began to consume my thoughts and take my focus off all the blessings surrounding me. The unplanned change itself is a blessing but because it isn’t what I asked for at the time, I let it dictate my attention. I let all of the what ifs consume my mind and let overthinking replace prayer. My journal and bible time decreased all because I wasn’t in faith. My pastor spoke on having joy with faith and it convicted me. It made me angrier because I knew it was just for me. Because I was trying to convince myself that worry wasn’t consuming me and that I will rely on God. But that wasn’t true, I was mad because I couldn’t see the resolution with my own eyes. So, I chose today to write, to pull myself together, to go to God for forgiveness, and remind myself that great is his faithfulness.

The very thing I find myself stressing to others, I lost. I lacked faith that God is the same God that has carried me my entire life through adversities. If you’re battling the same, finding happiness in the unknown, here is your reminder to look back over your life and allll he’s brought you through as the older generation would say in church and remember who your father is.